List of posts by Beck Oliver
This is the page of Beck Oliver's TheSlap posts! Posts *'André: '''What's up, man? Where have you been? **'Beck: Sick. Jade's taking care of me. **'André: '''Oooh, sorry about that. **'Beck: 'Hi, André. It's Jade. I'm sitting right next to Beck and NEWSFLASH: I know how to read. **'André: 'Right... I was kidding. You're the best girlfriend. Sweet, caring... **'Beck: 'Stop typing. *'Beck: 'I finally picked out my Halloween costume. I'm going as a professional bowler. **'Jade: 'That's stupid. I already picked out your costume. It's a white sheet. **'Beck: 'A ghost? **'Jade: 'No, you'd literally be NOTHING. I thought it was very clever artistic statement. And besides, if girls can't see your face, they won't hit on you. *'Beck: 'Yep. I'm back. Jade promised to stop freaking out. **'Jade: 'Hi, babe. Welcome back to theSlap.com **'Jade: 'Did you see the email I sent you? **'Jade: How come you didn't respond to my email yet? **'Jade: '''Are you getting these messages on your phone? I texted you, too! **'Jade: BABE! **'Beck: '''Do you want me to delay my account again? **'Jade: 'Sorry, I'll stop. Love you. *'Beck: 'Going to bed. If I post any updates in the next 8 hours, it's just me text-sleeping again. *'Beck: 'I bought my girlfriend flowers. Forgot she hate flowers. Starting a list of all her "dislikes". It's LOOOONG already. *'Jade: 'I can't believe you removed that you're in a relationship with me! **'Beck: 'Well, you broke up with me. **'Jade: 'Fine! Well, I'm removing mine, too. **'Cat: 'What's going on with you two??? Someone please tell me! **'Jade: 'No! *'Beck: 'So Jade made me change my profile pic to let other girls know that we're back together. But it's a good pic, so I'll leave it up for awhile. *'Beck: 'I switched back to my old pic... but don't worry, Jade and I didn't break up. I just really like this one. **'Jade: 'I liked the other one better. **'Beck: 'Knew you would ... **'Rex: 'Hey, can you email me the one of you guys kissing? **'Jade: 'Ew. Gross. No. *'Beck: 'Earthquakes????? Nope - one of the tires on my RV just blew out. Part of the fun of living in a house on wheels. *'Beck: 'Heat wave in Los Angeles. Thirsty. Thirsty. Thirsty. Please send water! *'Beck: Someone on TheSlap is using an avatar that looks just like me as a hobo! What's up with that? *'Beck: '''Where are my hair gels and stuff? **'Jade: I removed them from your bathroom before I left for the weekend. I don't want you looking good when I'm gone. *'Beck: '''Partying in Hermosa. Jade can't come. Who should I invite? **'Sinjin: 'I'm available. *'Beck: 'Jade's at the movies. Chilling with my dad. Feels funny to not be getting yelled at for a minute... *'Beck: 'Grilling up some burgers then chilling in the RV. Andre's coming over. Couldn't be a better Friday. **'Jade: 'I thought you said you can't stand guy's night out and would rather be with me. **'Rex: 'The dude LOVES guy's night... See ya later Beck. I'm coming over, just gotta figure out a way to ditch Rob first. *'Beck: 'Working on my car. Engine grease all over me. Should have this baby up and running soon. **'Jade: 'Tell me you love me. **'Beck: 'I love you. **'Jade: 'Okay, resume your manly activities. **'Beck: 'Thanks, babe. **'Jade: 'Hot. *'Beck: 'If I don't become a famous actor, my back-up plan is to sell products on TV. If you can sell a blanket with arms, you can sell anything. *'Beck: 'Well, Friday. Here I am. What are you going to do with me? *'Beck: 'I'm babysitting a puppy. It just peed on my bed. Puppies are gross. *'Beck: 'I parked my RV in the school parking lot last night. So I literally rolled out of bed and came to class. *'Beck: 'I bought one of those remotes that help you find your phone if it's lost. But now I can't find it anywhere. I need a remote for my remote. *'Beck: 'Thinking about getting a tattoo on my shoulder. What should it say? *'Beck: 'I was in a movie. Then I was out of the movie. Now I'm back in the movie. Interesting week. *'Beck: 'Sikowitz's van smells like cheese. The ping pong team should really get their own bus. *'Beck: 'Just witnessed a mad hot-cheese attack! Now, I'm gonna go feel Andre's feet some more. *'Beck: 'Had to pick up some production equipment in Burbank today and drove by a high school that looks exactly like Hollywood Arts. Weird. *'Beck: 'What's the best part of staying up late? It's 1 am and I got nothin' to do. Suggestions? *'Beck: 'sittin' in Sikowit's class. Should i tell him that he has bits of cheese stuck in his hair? *'Beck: 'Dilemma: My hair got stuck in my car door today. Should I cut it? **'Jade: 'Don't even think about it. And why are you asking anyone besides me?!? *'Beck: 'Happy Veterans Day. I'm dating Jade so I know exactly what they've been through. *'Beck: '2 Days of school next week! Thank you Thanksgiving! *'Beck: 'Did you here my girl singing at the Karaoke-Dokie? Talk about hot. **'Jade: 'You better have meant me. **'Beck: 'I did. **'Tori: 'What? No love for Louise Nordoff? **'Jade: 'Shut it Louise. *'Beck: 'I wonder who was the FIRST person to eat cheese. How did they know eating mold would be good? *'Beck: 'Weekend Plans: Surfing or Snowboarding? I love L.A. *'Beck: 'What is a one-horse open sleigh? Aren't all sleighs open? *'Beck: 'Airplanes fly. True story. *'Beck: Another question for you: What the heck does Auld Lang Syne mean? I'm literally to tired to look it up. *'Beck: '''Someone told me my hair was so shiny, they could see their reflection in it. **'Jade: Um, does this person have a name, address, phone number?? **'Beck: '''It was my dad. **'Jade: 'Anyway, what time is dinner tonight? *'Beck: 'Went to the park with Jade ... She tripped a five-year old. BAD IDEA. *'Beck: 'I lost a bet to Andre. Now my Diddly Bop costume is my profile pic for the week. Thanks again man. *'Beck: 'Was invited on a private yacht with an all-girl band. Jade said no. Now, we're watching a chick flick together. Yay. *'Beck: 'Still confused about what makes pink lemonade pink. *'Beck: 'The best thing about dating Jade is not having to buy any Valentine's Day gifts. Saves me like $35 bucks. **'Jade: 'You were only going to spend $35 bucks on me!!!!! That's it. I want flowers and jewelry NOW. *'Beck: 'How come monkey get tails and we don't? **'Sinjin: 'I kinda had a tail but the doctors removed it when I was 4. *'Beck: 'I just took the "What Job Suits You Best" test and it said I should either be a actor or an elephant trainer ... think I'll stick with actor. *'Beck: 'Spring break is in a few weeks, so ... vacation ideas: Mexico or Canada? decisions ... decisions... *'Beck: 'Had to move my house so my dad could get something out of the garage. How many people can say that? #livinginanRV *'Beck: 'I'm eating a bagel. Wow that should not have been a stupid update. Sorry. *'Beck: 'Anyone Canadian out there? Please tell Jade there's nothing wrong with being born in Canada? **'Jade: 'Yeah sure, like I'm going to trust the word of an Canadian. *'Beck: 'If I were going to be deserted on an island and could only bring one thing, I'd bring my PearPad. **'Jade: 'I'd rethink that answer if I were you. *'Beck: 'Man, how do girls wear these heels? Feet hurt so bad ... gonna go stick 'em in a tub of cold butter. *'Beck: 'coffee coffee coffee coffee coffeeeeeeee!!!! ah, back to normal ... ;-) Well, as close to normal as I'm going to get. *'Beck: 'Will someone please tell Jade that ordering her a salad does not mean I think that she's fat?! **'Jade: 'I still can't believe you did that. **'Beck: 'You wouldn't tell me what you wanted! **'Jade: 'You should be able to read my mind! *'Beck: 'There was literally a couch in the middle of the freeway this morning. Ah, the joys of driving in LA. *'Beck: 'Gotta help a friend move to the valley this Saturday.... Sometimes it's not fun being the guy with the truck. **'Jade: 'What?! This Saturday?! AND MISS MY PLAY?!?! **'Beck: 'But it's not your play. You're Tori's understudy. **'Jade: 'Yes... unless something happens to her, which it MIGHT! **'Tori: 'Jade! Stop saying that! *'Beck: 'Going to Canada for a father-son fishing trip. My dad thinks Canadian fish taste better than American ones. *'Beck: 'Hanging out at a friend's movie set and all they have at craft service is refrigerated mussels. I'm almost hungry enough to eat them. *'Beck: I'm UN-SCARE-ABLE! Nothing frightens me at all. Well, except maybe Jade. Ha, JK sweetie. *'Beck:' Asked my dad what he wants for Father's Day. He said, "For you to break up with Jade." He's still mad about the whole dog attack thing. *'Beck:' Jade is the best girlfriend ever. Jade is beautiful. Jade is better than anyone else. **'Beck:' Guess who logged onto my account and wrote this? *'Beck: '''I literally only own like 3 pairs of socks. Should probably go shopping soon. *'Beck: Hey guys. Just wrote a new blog. It's called Jade Hates Compliments. Check it out! (or here) *'Beck: '''Sitting on a floaty in a pool at a Hollywood Mansion. Things could be worse. **'Jade: 'What?? Why wasn't I invited? **'Andre: 'Eating Beck's famous BBQ ribs. He just grilled up a rack of 'em. Things could be worse. **'Jade: 'You took Andre as your plus one?!?! Things WILL get worse! *'Beck: Jade once told me if I ever grew a mustache she would never kiss me again. At least profile-me can sport one. Lucky chap. *'Beck:' My hair's too thick to wear a baseball cap. Life is hard. *'Beck:' They just discontinued my favorite hair gel. I'm currently on step 3 of the grieving process. *'Beck: '''Don't wear flannel in the valley. It's 102 degrees. My sweat is sweating. **'Cat: Boys wear so much clothes *'''Beck: My neighborhood car wash says they'll clean any vehicle for $10. So I drove my house over there. I think they hate me. *'Beck': At the beach one last time before school starts. I'll miss you Summer. Don't forget to write. **'Jade': Who's Summer??!!! And why are you at the beach with her? **'Beck: '''We need to talk about your jealousy issues. *'Beck': A bird just pooped on my head during lunch. He's been eyeing me for days and he finally struck. Anyone got a napkin? *'Beck:' Okay guys here are my choices for the weekend: Go to a film festival in Newport or go scissor shopping with Jade. What should I do? **'Jade: There's only one right answer to that question. **'''Tori: Scissor shopping? Is that a real thing? *'Beck: '''I get all my fashion inspiration from 80's teen movies. Today I'm rocking the jean jacket and fingerless gloves. Wanna join the club? *'Beck: Name something you've never worn or ever plan on wearing. I'll start: khakis. **'''Sinjin: Relaxed fit jeans. **'Rex:' Underpants. *'Beck: '''Weird how you can be washing your car one min and then out of nowhere a bunch of girls show up and a huge bikini water fight breaks out?! **'Jade: WHAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!! **'''Beck: '''Ha. Just kidding. ''' *'Beck: '''I got an actual letter in the mail today! That hasn't happened in years! It was junk mail, but it was still kind of cool. *'Beck:' It seems some guys have forgotten men's room etiquette. We DO NOT talk while side by side at the urinals. Got it? *'Robbie: But I just wanted your opinion on my new pants! *'Beck: '''Jade just called and asked if she could borrow 200 rolls of toilet paper. Should I give them to her or call the cops? *'Beck: 'I wish I could use a remote control to put Trina on mute. She's trying to sing an Adele song. TRYING. *'Beck: Shopping with Jade. While she tries on 24 different black shirts, I'll watch the football game on my phone. *'Beck:' Tomorrow is "Wear a Kilt Day" at Hollywood Arts. Should I participate? **'Jade:' You better not. I don't want a boyfriend who looks better in a skirt than I do. *'Beck:' It's 6 AM and I haven't gone to bed yet. Do I even attempt to go to sleep or just try to make it thru the rest of the day? *'Beck:' Didn't get much sleep last night... wish I could be a girl for a day and cover up my under-eye circles with some makeup. *'Beck:' Why is everyone saying I drink too much coffee!!!! I DON'T DRINK TOO MUCH COFFEE!!! Aaaahhh!!!! My heart is vibrating!!!! Ineedsomemorecoffee!!!! *'Beck:' Just had to do an emotional scene while wearing green, full-body tights with ping pong balls all over 'em. Motion capture acting is weird. *'Beck:' Got a Christmas package from my Canadian grandma—a jar of maple syrup and a DVD set of Degrassi. Does she know me or what? *'Beck:' Why do we say "Merry Christmas" in America? We don't say "Merry Halloween!" What gives? **'Sikowitz:' I say Merry Halloween. **'Jade:' Yeah, but you're weird so you don't count. *'Beck:' Having a great time at the New Year's Eve party! Even Jade's having fun. Of course she calls it a "Death of 2011 Party." *'Beck:' The rose parade should be closer to Valentine's Day. That way you can just pic flowers off the street to give to your girlfriend. *'Beck:' Jade almost beat up a girl for feeling my hair. That girl was my hairdresser. Next time I get a trim, she'll have to wait in the car. *'Beck:' It's almost beach season! Wait, what am I talking about? It's always beach season around here! *'Beck:' Vice Principal Dickers is my favorite person ever. (Hoping this update will get me OUT of detention next time.) *'Beck:' Hangin' with Tori at the Gorilla Club, teaching her how to be a risk taker. She hasn't died yet. I think we're off to a good start. **'Jade:' Well, maybe next time. *'Beck:' Single. Yup. **'Robbie:' I think I'm going to cry. **'Beck:' Don't worry, man. It's gonna be okay. *'Beck:' Every time I fill up my gas tank, I wish that someone would invent teleportation already. *'Beck:' On an indie film set at 4:30 am. Sooo tired. The craft service coffee is NOT working. *'Beck:' I had to take my house to get an oil change today… I do live in an RV, remember. *'Beck:' Today is Good Friday. But isn't every Friday good? Is today like the King of Fridays or something? Whoa, this status just went into Cat mode. *'Beck:' Went Easter Egg hunting with my cousin and found an egg from last year. Better late than never. *'Beck:' Girls are always asking me to drive them to school. I don't think most of them go to Hollywood Arts though. Weird. *'Beck: '''At a friend's really terrible play. I'm like the only one still left in the theater. Think I can sneak out during intermission? *'Beck: Sometimes I forget how cool it is that I can see the Hollywood sign from my house. *'Beck: '''Accidentally just brewed a whole pot of coffee. If no one comes over to help me drink it, i'm going to have a very long and jittery night. *'Beck: 'No the rumors aren't true, I DID NOT kiss Tori. She DID spit a chewed-up hoagie into my hand though. *'Beck: 'Someone broke into my RV and only stole 1 permanent marker. Worst robbery ever. *'Beck: 'I did absolutely nothing today. Nada. Not a thing. Just wanted to let everyone know that. *'Beck: I know you're not supposed to eat in the library, but I snuck in some crackers anyway. I like to live dangerously. *'Beck: '''There's nothing worse than ordering pasta and finding the waiter's armpit hair in your food. **'Rex: Oh no, there's much worse than that. **'Beck: '''Please don't talk about it. *'Beck: Remember that cricket that kept waking me up? Well, I think he found his way back back to my bedroom. That, or his family is seeking revenge. *'Beck:' Come see my new short film "The Blonde Squad." It's got everything you need in a movie: Birds, blondes, and bananas! *'Beck:' Happy Canada Day! It's just like the 4th of July but with a lot more hockey and flannel. *'Beck: '''Reading Hamlet in English class. Spoiler Alert: Everyone dies at the end. *'Beck:' Just won concert tickets over the radio. All I had to do was answer a trivia question NOT eat 100 cartons of ice cream. So much simpler this way. *'Beck:' My mom's gotta start warning me when she adds extra chlorine to the pool. My eyes are currently burning. Ahhh! *'Beck:' Yesterday, my waitress asked me if I would marry her. She was elderly and missing several teeth. Guess I won't go to that waffle place anymore. *'Beck:' My locker is broken. It won't close. Probably shouldn't be telling everyone on TheSlap. *'Beck:' Okay, I need a text book for bowling class. I would only understand this if I was throwing the book at the pins. *'Beck:' So it's Labor Day, huh? It's hard to get excited about a holiday without a mascot. *'Beck:' Going to a midnight marathon of all 6 Galaxy Wars movies. Who needs sleep, right? *'Beck: My aunt just got me a fern for my birthday. Okay, first, it's not even my birthday today and even if it was…. a fern? ' *'Beck:' Out with Tori on an "Opposite Date." Real dates don't end with the purchase of dog ointment. *'Beck: My first Halloween without Jade. Guess i won't have to watch 31 horror movies this month. *'''Beck: Has anyone seen my friend Moose? He's been captured by 4 female lunatics. *'Beck:' Just got some little kids come to my RV asking for candy. I didn't have any, so I gave them bottled water. Hope I don't get egged later. *'Beck:' I can't decide if I'm more hungry or thirsty. I guess I'm a little of both. I'm Thungry. *'Beck:' Wow! Just realized I wore glow in the dark socks today. Where should I go tonight to show them off? *'Beck:' The weather is a little too cool for iced coffee and a little too warm for hot coffee. What do I do? #CoffeeConfusion *'Beck:' Dating Jade's not easy. But it's worth it. Besides, easy is boring. *'Beck:' At the Cow Wow and just found a wiener in my punch. Still gonna drink it though. *'Beck:' Pro Tip: Compliment Sikowitz on his cologne today and he'll give you 5 bonus points on today's test. **'Sikowitz:' It's true! I will! *'Beck: '''I have a coupon for Nozu that expires Jan 1st 2013. I only have 2 hours left to use it. Let's all get some sushi! *'Beck:' I don't think I want to be Doinked again. Not really a fan of the experience. *'Beck:' Boy, it's so hot right now. Guess I better go wash my car. I'll be live streaming it just in case anything "interesting" happens. *'Beck:' I wish I could call a restaurant to deliver one pack of gum to me. I don't have time to go to the store before my date tonight. '' Category:TheSlap.com Category:Quotes